Moving in With Your Best Mate? Take Notes.
BFFs do everything together. They go out together, do shots together, sing off-tune karaoke together. So why wouldn’t they live together? What seems like a natural match may actually be the worst pairing of all-time. Before you go running off and moving in with your best mate, here are five realities of moving in with them.
Listen up, the future of your friendship may be riding on it.
They’ll annoy you
It’s one thing to share a plate of nachos with your best pal in a noisy bar. It’s another when they’re munching down a bag of chips when it’s just two of you in an empty house. Living so close to someone will force you to see them in another light, no matter how much you fight it, or love them as a person.
When it comes to living with anyone (friend, college housemate, spouse), it’s the little things that are going to add up. No matter how much they tiptoe around you, there’s still another person in your territory. They’re going to do things their way, whether it’s washing the dishes their way, cleaning the bathroom their way, using all the pots and pans their way… you get the picture.
Before lashing out, take a moment to think it through. Are you blowing these little things out of proportion, or are these gripes legitimate? If these nuances are part of who they are as a person, you might have to learn to deal. But if these are things that actually impact your quality of life when you’re home, then you’ll want to bring it up in a friendly way. Chances are, they had no idea they were annoying you and you’re probably annoying them too. (You’re bestie after all!)
You’ll learn more than you want to know
You know the whole “warts and all” thing? Sometimes you will see warts and all… literally. Living with your best mate leaves you both vulnerable to embarrassing walk-ins or accidental eavesdropping. Maybe there’s things you didn’t want to know about your friend, but hey, the walls are thin!
That being said, they’re your best friend so respect their privacy as they will yours. Don’t pry and get involved just because you happen to be there. It may be your home but it’s not always your business.
You won’t be hanging out all the time
Moving in with your best friend will change the dynamic of your friendship whether you like it or not. While most young Aussies spend 20 hours a week hanging out with friends, living together might not necessarily mean ‘hanging out’. Instead of bonding over wine, your time together might involve chores, going grocery shopping, or cooking dinner. Whatever the case may be, remember that you’re now living a life, not hanging out in life.
There may be times when you want to be chatty or go for an adventure but unfortunately, that loud fight with your ex on the phone kept your roomie up all night. Oops. So, they want to sleep. These situations are quite common. Don’t be disappointed when your BFF doesn’t want to be as active and is in need of some ‘me time’.
Lastly, because you see so much of each other, naturally you’re going to look forward to seeing other people! Hangouts might become less with each other and more with others. Since you used to dedicate your free time away from your old living quarters with your BFF, time away from new living quarters will most likely be without them.
You’ll be a third wheel
Nothing changes your status from best friend to housemate quicker than a significant other. Be prepared for your bicycle to turn into a tricycle… and you’ll be the wheel on it’s own.
When your best mate is dating someone and you don’t live together, their relationship is almost out-of-sight, out-of-mind. When you move in with your BFF, they’re going to want downtime around the house… with their partner.
Being the third wheel may sting at first, but get over it. Chances are, you’re not going to marry your best mate. Use this as a time to adjust to your new relationship!
It might not workl
Just like moving in with an ex may have made them… well… an ex, the same can be said for best mates. Splitting shared expenses, relying on them for chores, and being their third wheel may be too much of an ask, and that’s OK!
Before you move in with a friend, weigh the pros and cons. Ask yourself – would you really make compatible housemates? Understand that this arrangement may not be as smooth sailing as you think. If you have any doubts, hold out on moving in. Splitting rent for a few months might not be worth the long-term ramifications.